Parents want the best for their children!
Normally a student gets to college at the age of 18; a late adolescence phase, and college is a transitional period in their lives, a period of maturity; of becoming an adult. This transition sometimes triggers certain anxieties in young people known as separationanxiety. Separation from their parents, their childhood dreams, their childhoodbehavior of irresponsibility, of just being kids. Although most young adults are able to make it on their own in college, some of them, wait for their parents’ guidance, as means to avoid making their own decisions. Of course, parents get so attached to their kids, it’s never easy to let go of them, and so whenever a child shows signs of adulthood, they drive him away from it. They keep making decisions for him, some of which might be lifetime decisions.These parents always have good arguments for their choices. Their interest in a particular career for their children might be for many reasons such as a higher social status, wealth, to carry on the family business... and so on. Refusing to see, whether their children have the will or the ability to achieve these professional goals. The problem occurs when the child does not see eye to eye with his parents. His disapproval may be portrayed by certain psychological behavior; such as being angry all the time, hyperactivity, and in certain cases somatization.
Somatization is common in patients who persistently complain of varied physical symptoms that have no identifiable physical origin. One common etiological explanation is that internal psychological conflicts are unconsciously expressed as physical signs. Somatization could mean the student’s rejection to his current major or profession. Some other signs of somatization might be to avoid going to class, taking tests, and perhaps even delaying his graduation. In conclusion, even though parents always want the best for their children, it is extremely important for them to show faith in their children, respect their decisions, and treat them as individuals. On the other hand, a student must be willing to take responsibility for his actions and his choices, that is how he gains respect. A chosen major or specific job expresses and reflects the true self of an individual. To some, making decisions comes very easy, to others a year or two in college is needed before they are ready to make a sound choice; sound decisions requires maturity. However, once the student is ready, his choices are then wise enough to be regarded as his very first steps toward independency and adulthood.
*Victoria Khoury: Psychotherapist & Clinical Psychologist
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